Breathing is Overrated…

which is a common theme of this blog and my life, it seems.  PulseOx is not cooperating-down to 89-so I’m back on oxygen.  The respiratory tech who came in to give me my breathing treatment just now said, “Thank God you’re so nice to me.”  Really?  She then went on to tell me that there were other patients who were incredibly mean to her because they didn’t want to be here.  Well I don’t want to be here either, but that doesn’t mean I have to be crabby to people.  They’re just trying to help.  

What is it about hospitals that bring out the crackpots?  There was WienerMan the other day, and apparently the patient in the room before WienerMan was a serious kleptomaniac (maybe that room is possessed…).  The care tech told me she caught him with a whole SUITCASE of graham crackers as he was being discharged.
I should explain that late at night, if you get the munchies, and providing they have the supplies, the nurse or care tech or whomever will bring you some graham crackers and milk.  It’s delicious!  So apparently Mr. Klepto was here awhile, requested an inordinate amount of graham crackers every night, and was hoarding them in his suitcase.  So next thing I hear is the care tech yelling (!!) at him, “Sir?  You just don’t DO that!”  These crackers are for everyone on the floor!”  (I don’t think he got to take them home.) So later, the tech is in my room telling me about this, and I immediately start to feel guilty, because I save my leftover condiments for later meals (so as not to waste them).  I also save the leftover bottled water so that I don’t have to bother the techs all the time for water.  The lights were shining brightly on me, so I confessed, and showed her my stash.  Three containers of pancake syrup, a pack of ketchup, and three water bottles.  I expect to be arrested, or at least yelled at, but she says to me, “Baby, that’s different.  These came up on your food tray.  They were specifically for you, so it’s okay to save them.  That man was stealing from the canteen, which is for everyone on this floor, patients and employees alike.”  I never thought of it that way.  So apparently hospitals bring out the worst in some people. I have found that (for the most part anyway) hospitals also bring out the best in their employees.  These people at Wingnut General have been fantastic.  Now I had a couple of sadists when I was here for the pancreatitis episodes, but I guess no one’s perfect.

My best friend finally got to meet “the Famous Dr. Dash” as she calls him, and it was hilarious.  They are both from different parts of the country, and apparently not too fond of the other person’s part of the country as a rule.  Dash told my friend that he interviewed for a job when he first got out of medical school in what was basically her backyard, took one look at all the cornfields, and said to himself, “Nope!  This place is not for me!” To which she replied something to the effect of “well you come from a bunch of inbreeders in the country”, and it was love at first sight.  They both started laughing and later Dash asked me had he laid it on too thick with my friend, and I told him no, she loved him.  (She does, but it’s because she’s my best friend and he keeps me alive.)

Also feeling incredibly dizzy today, maybe from the lack of oxygen.  Was up all night again last night, so I slept most of the morning.  Had the worst headache followed by severe night sweats and was generally just uncomfortable.  I’m just tired of feeling like crud.  Maybe it will get better tomorrow.


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